When you don't find anything funny...

[Fabienne Brilland]

I really, genuinely want to laugh, wholeheartedly, but I can't force myself...I remember the times when as a teenager, I would find most things funny and woud have these elated moments afterwards, just joy...
For some reason, these moments are now rare, I must be low on the vibrational scale..I sometimes laugh at something my children say or do, and they don't like it much because they think I am laughing at them...One of the best laughs I had in recent years came out of the blue, my then 12 year old son had been to London, to the famous toy shop, Hamleys?, he was impressed by the almost life size soft toy giraffe which was very expensive...We were debating the pros and cons like it was good because you did not have to feed it, clean after it, etc...after a pause, my son added "and you can sleep with it.." This generated hysterical laughter for me then...I don't feel the same now about it but it is a wonderful memory.
I have seen some change recently as I am practicing more and more awareness (Eckhart Tolle), I have a chronic illness and have been searching for a solution for 6 years now and I realised I was forgetting to live...I find joy in the most simple things now and it is such a relief, it is accessible fairly instantaneously and it is free!
Also, I find music and mantras really uplifting' here is one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW8IjcOWtlI&feature=related

I am looking into yoga laughter too.
Anything for a laugh!

[Joy]

What a beautiful sharing, Fabienne. I had a chronic illness myself which lasted for over 5 yrs (as well as back pain for over 20yrs - all gone now praise be to God) and I remember it was quite difficult then to think positively and I was stressed and frustrated for much of the time. Starting the practice of awareness was very freeing for me too and I would highly recommend it to anyone ... I have had so many amazing insights and shifts over the years and can now look back with some amazement and lots of dollops of compassion at all that stuckness that I have now moved away from ... life is wonderful in all of its minor and major aspects!

[Fabienne Brilland]

Thank you Joy
Today is a difficult day, hard to find the level...I had a great evening with some friends last night and probably overdid it (I had a whole glass of wine!!)Dealing with fear of what may or may not happen...Still only the now matters...so worry won't get me anywhere...A really nice synchronicity moment happened yesterday morning, I was meditating on my relationship with othersm, especially a few friends who have taken s ome distance from me because they probably don't know how to react about my illness, just at that moment, the phone rang and it was a friend who had not contacted me for 6 moths at least....we had a nice chat and I felt so much better about our friendship...It was spooky that it happened just at that moment. I wonder if the Universe responds so quickly? I realised that I was being empathic in my meditation, maybe that's what made the shift...