Tears and Laughter

[Joy]

Tears and laughter are two of the most beautiful and heartfelt expressions of human nature. I find it absolutely fascinating that they lie so close to each other in the brain. It is amazing to think they are just a spark apart, so close yet sometimes feeling so far away, a perfect reflection of the dynamics of so many of life's relationships

How many of you have had the experience of laughing so much you end up in tears! Or of crying yourself out and ending it with a smile

But trouble can arise when we form a habit of 'plumping for' the tears.

It's like this. Imagine you are sitting on a fence with 'tears' on one side and 'laughter' on the other. Another 'demand for payment' comes through the door, or the cat poops on the brand new carpet that you've saved up for so long to be able to afford, or your partner repeats the same behaviour yet again that you've told him a million times upsets you, or you are waking up into yet another day of chronic pain and aching ..... what do you do?

You are on the fence, even if only for a split second. That's all it takes to make the decision to jump into tears or laughter.
Yet many of us will immediately take the tearful option, even without thinking and pull in a few other feelings along the way ... the poor victim, hard done by, long suffering etc etc

But what if you could catch yourself at that moment, just before the jump, long enough to be aware that you have a choice and what if you had just enough time to breathe in a breath of courage, if you could just let go of your resistance to change ..... if you could try an experiment with laughter ... even fake laughter (the body doesn't know the difference - really)

and ... Ping! You've landed on the other side and find yourself laughing at your predicament as the 'big, bad monster' fades into insignificance and the happiness seed starts to grow

And you realise you are bigger than any challenge and tears and laughter are simply currents in the bigger flow

[Joy]

"I realised I have a choice" .... So many of my most free and precious moments have come at this point of realising I have a choice .. I'm really in celebration of that moment with you ...

[Shevon]

Well I noticed something today. I am building a relationship with my Dad who I had not seen for 26 years until last month We went for an early morning walk on Hampstead Heath today and on the way back I felt very hard. When he pulled up outside my house and hugged me goodbye I automatically began to cry. I could feel his love but along with that I felt pain. It's only when I came into the house that the story of "Here's another man to love who will end up leaving and I will feel pain" came flooding back" I heard another this say "Don't touch the story" and made the decision in that moment to carry on with my day without dwelling on it. A few hours later I noticed that I was having spontaneous images in my mind of really enjoying my time with my Dad and realised I have a choice of what experience I have with him whether he stays or goes. I am not a victim and that really made me smile. So I'm not quite there with the giggling yet but I'm smiling at the prospect of change :0)

[Joy]

Hi Fabienne

Tolle's work is so beautiful, like the call of truth pulling you back home, even though sometimes it can feel like you are being dragged through hedges, feet kickin' an' all ... lol!

This see-sawing on the spiritual journey, like the sway of laughter and tears reminds me of a journey experience I had not that long ago (I'm a journey therapist .... i.e the inner journey, taking inner adventures through mindful meditation, witnessing the games we play with our egos and then letting go and submitting to truth)

Anyway .... having also read works like 'The Genie in Your Genes' by Dawson Church and 'Biology Beyond Belief' by erm-m-m oh yeah, Bruce Lipton, oh and 'Molecules of Emotion' by Candace Pert (powerful books, phew!) this experience made so much sense

On this particular journey I found myself looking at a spontaneous image of what I would call a clump of body cells. Each one was covered in receptor cells that looked strangely like pods of sweetcorn and these receptors it seems were 'primed' or 'keyed' for sad and tearful responses. They had been well fed over the years (reminds me of a folk tale I heard a long time ago .. can't remember the full details ... something about a wolf, an old man and a young boy, I think but the point of the story was: 'that which you feed the most, grows')

So these cells, as I understood it, had become conditioned and almost addicted to the sad/tears combination which fed and swelled up the pods. And no matter how happy I might be at a particular moment, these cells had their 'radars' on to find another sad and tearful moment to feed on (lol!) like needing a 'fix' from time to time to keep them going

Then I realised that I would need to 'retrain' these cells to take in or feed on happy feelings instead and increase the number of receptors that were tuned to happy feelings (feed them with laughter) and let the tearful receptors wither and die over time through undernourishment ...

And because tears and laughter are so close, it became possible to just 'switch' suddenly during a tearful episode and start giggling (without trying to think of something funny to giggle about ... just make myself giggle, physically) Anyone watching might think I was mad, but I did let my husband know that I was carrying out this 'strange' experiment so he wouldn't think I had gone completely nutty. I imagined that in this way I was feeding the 'fun' receptors which grew and spread across the cells and started to crowd out the 'sad' receptors which had overrun the place before

As I continued to practice this switching, I found that I started to take myself much less seriously and it felt good to be feeding myself with something positive. I began to feel much more expansive, confident and joyful instead of contracted, gloomy and sorry for myself.

And then there seemed to come a point when I didn't have to do it consciously any more, the 'fun' receptors had reached 'critical mass' and taken over and now my radar is set to happy experiences, joy and delight. I like this new food ha! ha!

[Fabienne Brilland]

Thank you Joy for this post..
I am very influenced by Eckhart Tolle's teachings at the moment, having gone around the block a few times and having worked on a lot of my issues, I just accept what is without judgement, or without attaching too much importance to my tears, they just are...maybe a little EFT tapping will help and bring me back to acceptance...When I laugh, I just get so very happy and wonder what brought me there...and it is true that tears often arise too, but they are just joy, a pang of simplicity mixed with love...Ohhh, I so welcome these moments...
Still working on fake laughter...
Love and Light,